tears of joy, tears of pain

for lack of any or a better title i did that one.. what a morning it has been.. the weekend was so filled with laughter and tears streaming down my cheeks form laughing.. having great food, playing games till the early hours of the morning.. it was truelly so good.. had church service that blew my mind yesterday. most of what Gary Ninneman says, has now become my favourite sayings. (i'll just have to tell you about it one or other time) last night we played Ripper and Licker till 2 and then sat up chatting till 3.. and up this morning at 7 with Tamar. sort of preparing myself for a day of quiet relaxing and just staying awake.. and then it comes.. stories and reports from homeschoolers in Zimbabwe. it's like you know things are bad. but you still think to yourself, well, things aren't that great with me either, you know. and then i read about the children in the hospitals, babies, that get one, watered down bottle of milk for 5 days. 5 days.. patients that get a small portion of rice and boiled cabage.. once in 4 days.. people starving to death, quietly... alone, in the hospitals.. and that just brought all the prespective back to my day.. to my 3 meal a day, my duvet over my bed, my washing powder for my clothes, that might be finished, but i know that i will be able get something to wash my clothes with.. and oh, we have so much.. what we end up waisting, would be more than a family would eat for a week.. Lord, forgive us! found myself on my knees this morning, face on the floor in shame for my attitude in my own sircumstance, ungreatful heart at times.. my dissapointment with God's provision in my overflow.. Lord, forgive us..